When a soul moves on…

there are times that I can feel it happen. Not that often, but a few times, for different reasons, and people that you wouldn’t necessarily expect. I can’t possibly describe the feeling, but it’s immediate and it’s clear and it’s undeniable.

The Bump

Maybe it’s time to write about the bump.  The bump is something I’ve experienced, for sure, a couple of times, possibly more, and in varying intensities, but I’d like to start with the first and most vivid time.

I was in bed, enjoying a good sleep, curled into the mattress like you do after so many hours.  Supported by a mash of blankets, pillows and bed, all tangled into one, sublimely comfortable cloud.  My husband, a salesman, was away on a sales trip.  It took forever to get to sleep when he was gone, I was nervous on my own in the country.  I’d have to triple check that the doors were locked and then, I’d turn out all the lights and go around peering out the windows to convince myself that no one was out there.

It was early morning, almost time to rise, when it happened.  It was almost a physical sensation, it was so strong, but I knew it wasn’t of this plane.  Instantly awake, which is very odd for me, I knew it was something I had never experienced before.  At least, not like this.  Someone had just left this world; someone had just died.

Who was it?  How did I know? I couldn’t answer those questions, but I knew that’s what had happened as certainly as I knew my own heart was still beating.  My immediate fear, a bump this intense must equal someone of great importance to me – sharp intake of breath – my husband!

The panic enveloped me like the sheets had moments before – where was he?  Could I reach him?  He had a car phone, cell phones weren’t around yet, so, shaking, I tried to contact him.  No answer.  The girls were still sleeping, what would this mean for them?  My mind was racing and there was nothing I could do to slow it down, his voice would be the only brake that could screech my mind to a halt.

I dialed his number again and thankfully, thankfully, he answered.  It was hard to explain to him why I was so panicked, I’m sure I sounded irrational and he wouldn’t really hear the full story until he returned home, but I had heard his voice and I could breathe again.

The feeling stayed with me, I knew what I had felt and I knew I wasn’t mistaken.  My initial fear resolved, I tried to settle my mind and calm myself, how would I figure this out?

It wasn’t long before the phone rang again, much too early for it to be good news.  It was my girlfriend letting me know that a mutual friend had died that morning, much too young and much too suddenly.  I knew then that I had felt that soul leave this world but I wouldn’t understand why for some time, though eventually it would become clearer.

What I learned though, was that it wasn’t necessarily the connection you had forged in this lifetime that determined the vigour of the bump, it was the desire of the soul departing to connect, for whatever reason, that pushes the wave.  Maybe they want to say goodbye, or thank you or maybe they have another message you have to ascertain, but there’s some need they’re fulfilling and I have only to listen.